Mirror mirror on the wall who's the. . . what?

Noah has this 10x12 mirror hanging on his wall situated just three feet above the floor. I was down on my knees playing with Noah. For fun we both were looking into the mirror and I carried on the following pedagogical exchange:

Dad: Where's Noah?
Noah: There it is?
Dad: Who's that? (pointing to myself)
Noah: That's daddy!
Dad: Where's your father? (knowing that Noah hasn't learned that synonym)
Noah: That's the farter! That the farter right there!

He's learning so much.

Pffftttt

You know that camera I was so excited about? It's not working properly! I have to send it back and it will be another week before I get the replacement. Bummer.

The Power Struggle

Geary: Noah, it's time to get dressed. Can you take your pajama's off?
Noah: No! 'jama's on!
Geary: 'Jama's off!
Noah: 'Jama's on!
Geary: 'Jama's off!
Noah: No! Sit on the naughty mat*, Daddy!
Geary (in a tremendous Dad voice): Noah! You are dealing with powers greater than you know!
Noah: Sit on the naughty mat!
Geary: No, you will sit on the naughty mat. No talking back to Daddy.
Noah: 'Jama's OFF!

*The Naughty Mat is a small bathmat with a sad face painted on it where Noah serves his "time outs"

In Loving Memory of Tina Sanchez Salcido

My great grandmother on my dad's side passed away this morning. She was 94 years old. Isn't she beautiful in this picture? Noah got to meet her last year and I'm so glad he did. She was an amazing, kind, generous woman and I have lots of great memories from time spent with her. We'll miss you, Great Grandma! But I have no doubt we'll see you again in heaven. Until then...

Wank You! Wank You! Wank you berry much!

As Noah would say. Big thank yous to my dad! He ordered a digital camera for us and it arrived today! I'm so grateful and so excited about it. This is going to revolutionize this blog...okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration. But I do have big plans for the camera. Starting with a picture tour of our apartment! But first I need to go clean...

Are we speaking the same language, here???

This morning when I was bending down to help Noah button up his shirt, I lost my footing a little bit and said, "Whoa!" We had the following dialogue.
Noah: You okay, Mommy?
Jeana: Yeah, I'm fine.
Noah: What happened?
Jeana: I tripped.
Noah: What?
Jeana: I tripped.
Noah: What?
Jeana: I tripped.
Noah: What? What are you saying?
Jeana: I fell down.
Noah: Oh. Are you okay?

Noah Hearts Grandpa

Noah: I want to go to my Grandpa's house.
Jeana: We're gonna see Grandpa on Thursday.
Noah: I miss my Grandpa.
Jeana: Do you want to see Grandpa in a few days?
Noah: I want to see my Grandpa all days.

Mint Water

Yum. My new favorite beverage. When I was pregnant with Noah I used to put peppermint tea bags in my water so that it would taste better and I would't throw up. Now, someone has perfected my idea. Try it. Love it.

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to my Dad, Geary, Papa, Grandpa Lou, Bob, Eldred, John Johnson, Papa John, and all the dad type people in our lives. I know you've been waiting with baited breath to know what Geary's great gift was. Well...it was this! We've already used it to find two caches in Edmonds. Geary's comment, "Maybe next Father's Day I can get a Geocaching t-shirt." Oh...side note. This morning Geary bought sandals at the grocery store for $4.99. He claims they were his gift to himself. I say they're grocery store shoes...*sigh*

Yippee!

Today is Geary's last day of school! I'm so excited about having him home for a few days and having family time and just lazing about and playing that I can hardly think about run on sentences and punctuation! Honestly, these last couple of weeks have felt so busy and I know Geary is drained and in need of some physical refreshement. He'll start classes at SPU soon, so our summer will have some structure. But this week off is going to be so nice. Plus, I'm really excited about the Father's Day gift I got him. I would tell you what it is, but Geary might see it and the surprise would be ruined. It's a good one, though!

He's like a sponge...

Noah: What sound does a boat make?
Jeana: Well it depends on what kind of boat it is. A motorboat sounds like: brrrrrrrrrrrr!
Noah: No, a boat says, splash-splash!
Jeana: Yeah, a paddle-boat or a rowboat or a kayak would sound like that.
Noah: A kayak?
Jeana: It's a little boat. For one person.
Noah: Oh.

72 hours later....

Jeana: Noah, can you get out of that laundry basket? I need to get some clothes out of the dryer really quick.
Noah: Really quick?
Jeana: Yes, you can play with it again when I'm done.
Noah: Share?
Jeana: Yes, can you please share the basket with me.
Noah: I can't. It's my kayak. One person. Sorry.

Bookie Monster

Okay, I think I read books the way Cookie Monster eats cookies. I devour them! We went to the library last Friday. I checked out 13 books. I have one left to read. I think I have always been like this. I can remember going to B. Dalton with my mom to get the newest Babysitters Club or Saddle Club books. They usually came out with 2 or 3 at a time. As soon as the books were paid for I was reading them. Walking through the mall, in the car, holed up in my room. After a few hours I would emerge from my reading cave slightly dazed with new vocabulary and fresh stories still swimming in my head. I always feel very satisfied and yet, kind of mornful...because I need moooorrreee bookies! Arghrraraaarararr!

Elmo's World

If you have never seen an Elmo's World video, I'm afraid you won't get this. But if you have, prepare to chuckle.

This morning I could hear Noah playing by himself in his room. He was talking to himself but I couldn't understand what he was saying so I peeked in on him and saw that he was playing with his train set. After a few seconds of train noises, he looked over his shoulder and said, "Dorothy, this is how I play with my trains!"

And now back to our regular scheduled program...

Last night I had my Small Group over for dinner and Noah was the supreme entertainment of the night. Here's a highlight:
Napkin Peekaboo
Molly (hiding her face with a napkin): You can't see me!
Noah (looking at me questioningly): Mommy?
Jeana: Her name is Molly.
Noah: Oh. Okay! Molly! Where are you? Molly?
(A short time later) Molly: You can't see me!
Noah: Um...Mary? Manny? Buddy, where are you? Buddy?

The Last Thing...for now...

I know it will seem like I "got over it" really fast and I don't expect you to believe me, but I honestly feel okay about what happened. There has been a lot of tears and a lot of prayers, but today I feel renewed. I have hope and I have resolve. I know that Evil Bitter is real right now, but if I choose to let her live and not die to myself...I will forsake my true nature. My true nature is the Child of God...The Child of God who has been in this same pit twice before. I have seen that God is good at the bottom. I have experienced his peace, joy, comfort, and hope. And so I know it's there. And I want it. And I refuse to fight against it just because it feels good to be a brat for a while.

Some people are praying the journey of Naomi for me...She lost her husband and sons in a foreign land. She literally had nothing and she was bitter...bitter to the point of asking to be called Mara instead of her real name. Naomi had every right to be bitter, no one could blame her. But did she ever find hope? The story doesn't say...I hope she did.

Well, you know what? I've taken the journey of Naomi...twice. And now I'm ready to take the journey of Ruth. Ruth lost her husband and father-in-law and brother-in-law. She had every right to be as bitter as Naomi...but she chose to give up even more. She gave up her sister-in-law, her homeland, her culture, her gods...just so she could travel with bitter old Naomi. Ruth had hope. Ruth had virtue. Ruth was obedient. Ruth trusted that there was hope. Ruth met joy. Ruth behaved as a child of God.

So pray the journey of Ruth of me. This dream is shattered...but I have so many more dreams. And one dream has been fulfilled already. After my last miscarriage, I dreamed of the day when my faith would be unshakable. Where I would meet a crisis by reaching up for my Father's hand and walking across the pit. Experiencing all the realities of the pit, but not dwelling there. I will be like Ruth. I will walk across that deserted valley into the land where there is hope, joy, and new life.

This is not to say that I don't need or want your support. In fact, I need and want it more than ever. You have shared in my suffering, now share LIFE with me! Point out the wonder and beauty and strength of our God. Tell me the stories of triumph over darkness and death. Teach me to rejoice and as we move out of wailing together, let us laugh until our bellies are sore with joy and hope.

Over

It's over. The ultrasound technician didn't see anything. I miscarried. I feel wierd. I'm not shocked. I kind of expected it from the beginning. My body just didn't feel pregnant. But I'm still disappointed. And I feel a little bit like I have a split personality.
Evil Bitter Jeana thinks things like:

• Every future positive pregnancy test is just another baby I have to flush down the toilet.
• Don't tell me to "let you love me." I already am. If I wanted to reject your love, I wouldn't have told you what was going on.
• Who cares if it probably meant something was wrong with the baby. Nothing was wrong with my hopes or dreams and those are dead, too.

But Child of God Jeana thinks things like:

• I will choose to praise God anyway. He gives and takes away, blessed be his name.
• God doesn't owe me anything.
• If I feel this bad, I can't even imagine how broken God's heart must be.
• My pain is not the only pain in the world.
• Someday I'll know why...someday.
• I can't wait to know the jewel that is wrapped in this piece of manure.

I like Child of God Jeana so much better. Please pray that I will be Child of God. That my hurt will only make me merciful and not resentful. That my frustration will only make me patient and not bitter. That my disappointment will only make me gracious and not critical. Please help Evil Bitter Jeana go away.

Not Quite Over

Well, I passed some pretty large blood clots last night. In my mind, it's over. I just left a message for my doctor to see if I still need to have the ultrasound. It sounds like I either need to go in and be checked by her or go have my blood drawn again to compare hormone levels from yesterday. I'll let you know what happens. But please keep praying for me. Pray especially that I won't get lost...I don't want to become a hollow shell because of a broken heart. I don't want to become a stranger to the peace of God. Geary stayed home from work in case I have any breakdowns and Noah has been such a little light. He cuddled with me for an hour last night patting my back and saying, "I love you, Mommy. I'm sorry. Don't be sad." I don't know how he understands, but he does and for that I am supremely grateful.

A Sad Day in the Linhart House

I might be having my 3rd miscarriage. What? You didn't know I was pregnant? Yeah, neither did I until last week. And now I'm bleeding and feeling like saying every swear word I know. So pray. Please. I feel sick and angry and hurt and frustrated and I don't have much hope. It looks like I'll be going in for an ultrasound in the next 24 hours, but I'm kind of expecting there to nothing. No heartbeart, no baby, no sac, no hope.

Yes, Sir!

Well, we've solved the mystery of where Noah learned, "Yes, Sir!" See if you can recognize this Sunday School song from reading it in Noahese.

I may never munch in the ministry;
ride in the cow tree;
shoot the atery.
I may never fry on the manatee;
but I'm in the rosary! Yes, Sir!

Now picture him singing this with hand motions!