Nine

Happy Birthday, Noah!

Keeping in mind the stereotype that Canadians are extremely polite...

(and every Canadian I've ever met has been really nice so, you know, there's a reason for that stereotype.)

Noah:  Miles, would you like some cereal?
Miles:  Dah!
Noah:  Dah?
Miles: Dah!
Noah:  Are you German or something?
Miles:  Nope.
Noah:  Are you French?
Miles: Nope.
Noah:  Are you Canadian?
Miles.  Nope and thank you.

Two

Happy Birthday, Miles!

See Dick Run

Noah's third grade class performed a hilarious skit at their last assembly.  It's about several third grade students making Dick and Jane stories more fun with the help of a thesaurus.  Noah played the part of Dick.  I apologize for the shaky camera action.  I was trying to film and hold Miles at the same time--bad combo!  Turn up your volume and enjoy!

Updatation

The MOPS Bazaar was really good and my scarves were a big hit!  I have one more bazaar for this season on December 10th and I basically decided to simply not unpack from this last one so all my stuff is ready to go!

After the bazaar was over I took a nice long nap and then we had Taco Bell for dinner and watched Rio with some popcorn and candy.  It was the perfect family night and we all really needed to just veg out with one another.

Now I'm trying to catch up on laundry and housework and get a few Christmas orders wrapped up.  We're so excited for Thanksgiving and see family this weekend.

I wanted to share yet another story of God's provision.  Today I was running all over the place trying to find pants for Noah.   He's growing so fast that all of his pants are above his ankles.  Unfortunately, I couldn't find any pants in his size that were affordable for our budget.  I think I went to five different stores today.  Finally I gave up and came home.  Guess what was waiting for me on the front porch?  An ENORMOUS box full of clothes and toys!  Now Noah has a great fitting pair of pants, a new coat, and several nice shirts.   I'm not even surprised, just extremely thankful...we have a heavenly Father who knows our every need.

Overheard

Noah and Toby were playing some laser gun battle game in the hallway. I heard a lot of pew-pewing type noises and then I heard the pocket door of our half bathroom sliding open.

Toby:  Attack!
Noah: You'll never get me! Hold on I have to go potty.
Toby:  Oh, okay.
Noah:  Ha ha!  This is actually an escape pod...with a potty in it.

More Ruffle Scarves

I was able get about 30 Ruffle Scarves sewn for the Newberg MOPS Christmas Bazaar which I'm participating in this Saturday.  I made gray, which you've seen, white, chocolate brown, and tan.  And now I'm playing with dye to see if I get some of the white and tan ones to be a little more colorful.

Here's what I have so far:

 White

 Chocolate Brown

 Pink

Neapolitan!  Pink, brown, and tan/beige/natural/oatmeal 

(I need to decide on what to call this color) on the end.

I know this color is not for everyone but it's SO trendy right now.
Especially paired with gray.  I love it!


Check back later because I've purple, blue, and green in the dye baths now!

Sick Day

Three sniffly boys, all in a row.
Cough, cough, sneeze, sneeze, 
Where'd the tissues go?
Mama made some tea, 
She helped them wipe their noses.
Then she spread the blanket out
To cover all their toeses.
"Dank you, Bob," the boys all said, 
So groggy from their flu.
She kissed each fevered little head
And said, "I love you, too."

Memory

This afternoon I spent a little time playing Memory with Toby.  But when it was time for me to leave for a meeting I recruited Noah to take over.

Jeana: Noah, don't you want to play Memory with Toby?
Noah (8): I guess so.
Toby (4):  Yay!  And Noah, just make sure I win.

A little later...

Jeana:  Toby did you know I used to play this game with Noah?
Toby:  Wow!  Noah when you get to be my age we should play this together!

Cosmic

I've scheduled this post for 11:11 on 11/11/11. 

 Am I a complete and total nerd? Yes, yes I am.

Introducing...

The Ruffle Scarf in Gray!

I hope to show you white, natural (beige/tan), and chocolate brown tomorrow.
These will be listed in my etsy shop after November 19th but if you just can't wait
and want me to set one aside for you now, email me.  The Ruffle Scarves are $20 each. 

On the other side of infertility

We were driving home along some back country roads when I suddenly felt carsick.   I told Geary to hurry and get home because I thought I was going to throw up.  He gave me a look and said, "You're pregnant."  I guffawed,  "No way."  But then my mind started calculating dates and I realized that my period was indeed late.    

"Impossible!" I told myself.  We had discussed this.  I was done being pregnant.  Our family was moving out of the baby stage.  Oh yes, we still hoped to adopt, but not until Miles was older...not for a few years at least.   I thought about the diapers and the sleepless nights and the mushy brain disorder that came with having an infant.  This was not what I wanted.

And then I took a home pregnancy test.  When the single line appeared showing a negative result I was relieved at first.  But then I felt like my heart was ripped in half.  The tears started flowing and I felt so empty and hopeless inside.  What in the world?  Where were these emotions coming from?  Hadn't I just told myself I was done and ready to move out of the baby stage?  Why then did I feel such deep anguish?  It was extremely confusing.

I hid all these feelings and thoughts in my heart for a few days.  I wanted to tell someone but I didn't really know what I was telling.  Was I disappointed?  Did I want another baby?  No...I really, honestly, am ready to move into the next phase of family life.  Goodbye diapers.  Goodbye cribs and bibs and pacifiers.   I kept silent, even with Geary, letting my heart and mind wade through all the confusing feelings.

My period started the day after I took the pregnancy test.   And the day after that three different friends announced their own pregnancies.  I was elated for them!  But those familiar pangs of  "Why does she get to be pregnant and I don't?" started drumming loudly, adding to my confusion.  I wasn't really jealous...not anymore.  But those dormant feeling and memories were there, ready to be brought to the surface if I wanted to revisit them.

And that's when it dawned on me.  Maybe my body was just reacting/responding to a situation it had been through so many times.  Maybe my brain saw a negative pregnancy test and then sent out the cues to the rest of my body, "Oh, now it's time for heartbreak!  Time to start crying!"   What if I had simply, inadvertently, trained my body to respond with grief over a negative pregnancy test.  Yes, I think that's it.

You see, even though I'm now on the "other side" of infertility, it still has a profound impact on my life.  I can never not remember the sadness and frustration of wanting more babies but having an empty womb month after month...for years.  I can never forget the grief of my miscarriages.  I will probably always feel a little twinge every time a friend announces a pregnancy.   It's part of my story.  It's part of me. 

I don't really have a point or a neat way to wrap this post up.  I just wanted to put it out there that even though I now have three amazing sons and even though I'm finally not trying to be pregnant, this issue is still deeply ingrained in me.  I am thankful for the way God has used my infertility to change me, to give me more sensitivity, to draw me close to him.  I am thankful for the way I got to meet Jesus, the real Jesus, in the midst of suffering and loss.  I am thankful to be part of a sisterhood who understands how one single pink line can throw a body into a fit of sobbing.  

I know that some readers of this blog have also or are now currently dealing with infertility.  I want you know that my heart aches with yours.  I want you to know that even though our stories aren't the same, I am intimately acquainted with some of the feelings and thoughts that you have.  I want you to know that you are not alone and that I believe that even though there is sorrow now, joy is coming.  And I want you to know that I am always willing to pray for you and stand in the gap when you feel like you don't have the strength to keep hoping.  Also, you are welcome to borrow my ears if you ever need to talk about it.

Toby: Mom, remember when you called me Toby Jo-Jo.


Jeana: Yes. You're my favorite Tobin Joseph.


Toby: But Jo-jos are potatoes. I'm not a potato head!


Jeana: You're not???


Toby: No. Because my nose can't come off and I can't put it away in my bottom!

Real Life Rescue Heroes

This morning, in a moment of really bad timing, I tried to close the sliding door on our minivan while Noah was untangling the seat belt from his booster seat.  The seat belt got caught in the door and the door would neither open nor close.  We struggled with door.  We struggled with the seat belt.  We got testy with each other and we struggled to not say hurtful words in the midst of a frustrating situation.  Finally, I said, "Okay, we'll just have to drive to school like this.  If we go now you won't be too late." Noah took a seat in the way back and we drove to school slowly and carefully with the door locked in it's slightly open position.

As we drove my mind was racing.  Who could help us?  Could I call AAA?  Would they have to remove the door? And how much would that cost?  I needed a team.  I needed a team of creative problem solvers.  I needed a team of creative problem solvers with tools!

So after I dropped Noah off at school we drove slowly and carefully to the auto body shop that fixed our van after my accident on the day Miles shoved something up his nose.   I walked sheepishly into their office and explained my problem.  One employee said, "Okay, we can at least take a look."  He walked outside and struggled with the door.  Another man came out and saw the situation.  He crawled inside the van struggled with the seat belt.  A third man came out and tried to help by pulling on the door while the other two tried to pull out the seat belt.  The van shook and bounced and the two little boys in their car seats giggled and whooped with glee.  But the door was still stuck.

The man inside the van got out and said, "We need a plan."  And just like that I had my team of creative problem solvers with tools.  One man went inside to fetch a couple of crowbars.  And then they all took their positions.  One inside with one crowbar.  One near the front of the door gripping the door handle.  And one near the back of the door with the other crowbar.  In three seconds and with a loud click the door was unstuck, the seat belt was freed and the six of us shouted, "Yeah!"  It was a sweet victory.  

The three men high-fived one another and wished me a good morning.  I simply grinned and said, "Thank you so much!  You're all heroes."  And they ducked their heads and blushed.  It was sweet.  It was community.  It was a big sigh of relief for me.

And so I'm giving a big shout out to True Form Collision Repair.  They did beautiful work on the front of our van after the accident.  And the way they helped out a neighbor this morning has cemented our loyalty to them.  Thank you, True Form Collision Repair.  You are good neighbors and we're proud to be in your community.