Abundance

Last Wednesday I had plans to reconnect with a good friend.  Unfortunately, she had to cancel because she was ill.  I texted her, "Wish we lived a tad closer so I could bring you some chicken soup or something!"   As I hit the send button I felt a quick zing through my heart and that still, small voice said, "You know, you have two friends in town who could use some chicken soup."  I hesitated.  That would mean I would have to actually make chicken soup.  I took a quick peek at my cupboards.  No ingredients for chicken soup.  Oh, well!

Throughout the morning the voice kept whispering and I kept resisting.  Someone ordered a pair of earrings from my etsy shop.  As I printed the mailing label I felt relieved.  Twenty more dollars to help our budget last the rest of the month.  I had completely overspent our grocery money at the beginning of the month and we were barely going to make it.  I thought, "See? I can't afford chicken soup ingredients anyway."  Another heart zing, "I just provided you with twenty dollars."   Oh.   I thought that money was for me, to help my family.  Sigh.   I knew he was asking me to walk in the way of small deeds, rather than skip through the way of grand intentions.  But, it was time to pick up Toby from kindergarten.  No time for chicken soup!

While I waited in the parking lot at school, I decided to scroll through Facebook on my phone.  The very first post I saw was from Lysa TerKeurst:

There is someone in my life who needs something that I think I can’t give. But I can give when I realize God is supplying me in abundance. He is the supplier. I just have to open my hand and channel some of my blessing in this person’s direction.

Could he be any more clear?  "Fine!  I will do it."  My words and attitude sounded like a spoiled teenager but my heart was quickly melting.  Since my one friend canceled I had now time to make soup.  Because of the etsy order I now had money to make soup.  God was supplying me in abundance, I could trust that he would take care of my family, too.

Once Toby got in the van we headed straight for Safeway.   The little boys and I had fun zipping through the aisles gathering ingredients.  We also chose two loaves of fresh baked french bread.  By the time we made it to the check stand I was actually looking forward to making the soup and delivering it to my friends.

The total came to just under twenty dollars and when I opened my wallet to take out my debit card there was a twenty dollar bill that had not been there before.  I know this because I had been carefully counting our remaining cash each day to make sure we would have enough money for necessities until the next payday.  I paid for the groceries and was able to hold my tears in until we were all loaded in the car.

"What's wrong, Mom?"  Toby asked.
"I was wrong, son.  But it's okay now.  I'm starting to get it."

I bowed my head, "I am so sorry, Lord.  I'm sorry I offered to make chicken soup only when I knew I wouldn't really have to make it.  It was a way to appear kind without having to actually be kind.  And I'm sorry it took me so long to listen to you..." I felt his grace wash over me.  His grace is abundant.

I texted my friends, "I'm bringing you homemade chicken noodle soup tonight.  You can have it for dinner or freeze it for later.  I'll text before I come over."

A quick reply, "Wow, thank you so much!  You are extremely kind."

I laughed.  No, I'm not extremely kind.  I'm actually kind of extremely selfish.  And blind.  And hard of hearing.  But Jesus, Jesus is extremely kind.  He was extremely kind to me when he asked me over and over again to be the agent of his blessing.  He was extremely kind to me when he showed me that the money had already been provided.  He was extremely kind to me when he provided a miraculous extra twenty dollars so that there was absolutely no sacrifice on my part. His kindness is abundant.

While the soup was cooking I felt joy building up inside of me.  I couldn't contain it and sent a message to my best friend, "I just had the most amazing encounter with Jesus!"   I shared this story and ended by marveling over his willingness to work through me. "It's such an honor," I said.   She replied, "And a big, fat 'I love you' from your Father."

So much love was poured into that soup pot, my friends.  His love is abundant.