The Funniest Kindergarten Joke EVER!

This past year I volunteered in Toby's kindergarten class every Friday.  Twenty kindergarteners think this joke HILARIOUS!  I'm pretty sure every kid between 5 and 8 does.

All you do is randomly point to something in the room and say, "Look under there!"  When someone responds, "Under where?" simply laugh your head off and say, "You said 'Underwear!'"

It gets 'em every time.

My Mother's Day Gifts

Geary gave me these colorful tulips in the morning.   I love them! I've had these vases for five years and just now noticed, with this picture, that they are very similar to the vases in the painting on the wall.   Repetition is a good design strategy!

Geary also made it possible for me to not have to cook at all for the whole day!  It was so nice and I really appreciated being pampered like that.

Noah wrote a beautiful encomium and presented it to me in a pretty folder.  An encomium is a speech or piece of writing that praises someone or something highly. The scan might be difficult to read so here is a typed version:

In Honor of Mothers

Mothers are worthy of praise.  Mothers are God's gift and he teaches us to love and obey them.  God gives us mothers to show His love made for us.  My mom is Jeana Linhart.  She is a funny mom, who loves my brothers and me in a crazy way every day, especially with her joking tone.  In addition to being a funny mom, she is also a creative mom who supports our family with her jewelry business.  My art talents come from her.  The smell of paint drying makes me think of my mom, of different projects she creates, of bright colors in each room, of fetching brushes and paint cans, making me feel happy.  Now I shall hope to follow my mom's example and to be fun and creative for my friends and future family.

You better believe that I puddled up while reading that.  And I'm so tickled that my son associates the smell of paint with me!  

Toby made this beautiful watercolor painting for me.  It's actually quite tiny, about four inches square.  I love the soft colors and his hand drawn flowers.  This one is definitely going in a frame!  He also made a little booklet with fill-in-the blank style sentences about his mom.

My mom's name is Jeana.

My mom's favorite color is orange.

My mom's favorite thing to eat is mac-n-cheese with heat.

For vacation my mom would like to go to Black Butte.

The prettiest thing about my mom is her smile.

If I could give my mom something special it would be flowers.

The best thing about being a mom is making beautiful art.

The hardest part of being a mom is taking care of us.

I love it most when my mom plays with me.

I love seeing myself through the eyes of my children.  It's especially honoring that they each praise my creativity and desire to make beautiful art.  That is a deep part of my identity and so affirming that they see that in me.  My favorite thing to eat is not actually mac-n-cheese with heat but that answer cracked me up!

Miles made this hand print butterfly in church.  He also crawled into bed with me in the morning.  When the big boys came in with their gifts we had this conversation:

Miles:  Is it your birthday?

Jeana:  No, it's Mother's Day.

Miles:  Well, Happy Mother's Day!

He jumped onto my stomach and wrapped his arms around my neck.  Then he patted my face.

Miles:  I love you!  You're my mom!  I say, "Dar!" to you!

I love that little goofball.

I was also surprised by this gorgeous flower pot left anonymously on my doorstep with a sweet and encouraging note.  

I am a very blessed woman!  

Married With Children

Noah:  So we'll have to ask dad about it?
Jeana:  Yeah, he has to agree before we can do it.
Noah:  Well, I could talk to him for you.
Jeana:  Good idea.  He likes you better than me.
Noah:  Yeah, right!  If he didn't like you then I wouldn't be here!

Spies

Miles:  Who ate my mac 'n' cheese?
Jeana:  Nobody. You did ate it.
Miles:  No, a monster did it!  He was a snark-o-wolf!
Jeana:  Sounds scary.
Toby:  Was he a spy?
Miles:  No, he was a sneak!
Toby:  What's the difference between a spy and a sneak?
Miles:  A sneak is real one!

Forty Mattress and Counting...

A retelling of the The Princess and the Pea by Noah Linhart, age 10

A very long time ago a prince traveled the world with his mind set on one and only one goal:  He wanted to find and marry a princess.  No fame, glory or wealth did he seek--he had all that.  No, the prince desired to marry a princess, not just any old princess, but a real princess.  After his world-wide search the prince came home gloomily, for no real princess could be found.

That night, to add to the prince's gloomy mood, a huge storm struck.  It was so bitter that even the royal family sat shivering by the fire.  Some time later they heard a voice at the gate, "Take me in!  Take me in! Oh!"  When the old king opened the doors, there stood young girl sobbing loudly.  Her tears mixed with the rain as she cried, "Take me in, for I am a real princess."  At this the prince sat bolt up right as if shocked by static electricity.  But the queen laughed and spoke under her breath, "You just wait to see what I have in store for you."  Rushing off, she went to prepare a room for the guest.  After taking all the sheets and bedding off the bed she placed a single pea on the bed frame with forty mattresses stacked upon it.  That was where the princess had to sleep.

The next morning the queen asked, "How did you sleep, dear?"  The princess complained, "Oh, I was in agony.  What curse have you commanded upon me?"  With this they knew she was a real princess because she felt the pea under the forty mattresses.  That very night they threw a wedding party that continued for three weeks.  The prince had found his real princess at last.

Toby's Kindergarten Likes & Dislikes